The first question to ask yourself is - do you really want it, or do you think you ought to want it? For many people, work is fun, and home is boring - bu they don't consciously recognise this, because they know this is not an acceptable conclusion.

If you really want to change the balance, look out for people who get nearer than most. Find out:

• In what ways is their context like yours?
• What specific behaviours do they adopt?
• How do they do it? What strtategies do they adopt?
• What do they believe about home and work?
• Who do they think of themselves as being?
• What roles are key?
• What else really matters to them and how are they influencing that?

Then almagamate your findings - use your gut feel about what jumps out at you. Then pretend you can do it: act as if you were this personality that you have created. once you've made this into a habit, you can build on it.